Why the change?
More the question is why not? That’s a question I recently have been playing with in my head that I have also very much struggled with. Because I had a bunch answers and reasons why not. Why not to dye my hair blonder. I have always been a blonde, why not go blonder? My reasoning was always I don’t want to look fake… I have had my experience with girls who dye there hair bleach blonde and act fake and I didn’t want to come across just like them. Let alone in the past even with my dirty blonde hair, I have been thought of as fake, or dumb, or “just another pretty face” and I didn’t want those comments or thoughts to increase…
But then, I have to step back and ask “when have I ever cared what people thought about me???” Like honestly tho? I feel like though out primary and middle school I filled the slot of the weird girl. And what’s funny about that is that I totally knew it and totally didn’t understand why? I thought I was hot stuff! Wearing my camo cargo pants and pink snoopy shirts to school, all where also wearing pjs or sheep ears, or blood elf ears (from World of Warcraft of course) on a weekly occasion. Not to mention in 8th grade I mastered the wrap around side dutch braid and dressed up like Katniss Everdeen a couple times a month. And I honestly thought I was hot stuff haha 😅. Although I was never full of myself nor did I ever think of myself as better than anyone. I just had some really great self confidence lol
The best part of all this is is that Nick, my Nick, remembers all of it and he doesn’t care. And from time to time we always talk about the good old days back in 8th grade when I had the biggest crush on him with my fuzzy heeled boots, black eyeliner only on the bottom, some feathered earring I made from my dads fishing flies, and he wore purple skinny jeans, had Justin Bieber hair, and was always squinting because he wouldn’t wear his stupid glasses. And now look at us!
So in the end why do I care now? And that’s when I realized I don’t, and here I am☺️.